the space between

I finally got my pictures on flickr. It takes a LOT of time to upload with my current speed so I have been putting them all on there slowly over the month and only tonight finished and started to make the better photos public (until now I have been hiding them because I hadn’t gone through to sort all of the blurry shots). Anyways, check em out at http://www.flickr.com/photos/amfenrick and then go to sets. You can also follow the “more photos” link on the right side of this blog page.

Anyways, that was not my initial intent for blogging tonight, but it was a victory I had to announce publicly (cue Johnny Drama “VICTORY” yell). What I really have been thinking a lot about lately is the two worlds in which I live. It is weird, because as far as I feel I am at times, and as far away as I truly am, I am not terribly homesick. Sure, there are plenty of things that hit me at times and I just have to shrug it off. For instance, I will hear stories about my nephew’s birthday party (which I oddly enough complained about going to last year), or a camp I used to frequent, or just my friends hanging out and watching Indiana Jones, and those things will get me because they are the little things I didn’t plan to miss and now am missing.

Also, I seem to be homesick in the future as well as the present little things I have already discussed. By that, I already think of Christmas with a longing to return home. Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the such are things I really wanted to be at and knew I couldn’t so in a way I am prepared because I have thought about that since long before I got here, but now it is starting to feel real. The trick of it all is that I sort of feel trapped when I think of those things because of the fact I at times don’t feel “away.”

The way things are setup now with the internet, some of the American things I miss feel so close. For instance, I am maintaining a football game on xbox with many of my hometown friends at a rate of one game per day. That is pretty much the same rate as back home so it makes everything feel like last fall when I played the game from America. Also, I have been on xbox live and playing 5v5 with David, Jon, Mark, Cody, and occasionally Derek will hop in. It is moments like that where I can tease friends about the same stupid things I teased them about from home that I don’t feel so far. It is like last year with Jon in Kansas, maybe I am just in a different state right now (that happens to have a 14 hour jump on time).

The fact Melissa is here has made this trip to Japan far different from the last. Not only is she my best friend, but she is a friend I have taken from the United States. I know it is a weird way to put it, but since I had her in the US and since I have her here in the same way as back home, it is almost like nothing changed. The big differences, the ones that matter anyways, are the little events and time with friends and family. I can’t speak for Melissa, but at least for me, xbox has bridged a huge gap because it is still a way for me to stay in the loop and not in a skype kind of way. I don’t have to setup a time to meet people on there, and it has ceased to be so “omg, we are playing xbox across the world!!!” and more of a “hey guys, what’s up?” just like it should be.

So know that I am doing well, still lonely during my days and late at night (and boy would Taco Bell take away that loneliness about now), but I almost feel as though I am not so far away. In another week I will have my own internet and then we will have our slingbox to watch US television over here and the distance will shrink even more. But as close as I feel at times, know I miss you all and more than you would know. I think a LOT about the quality friends and awesome family I have and now that I am here with so much time on my hands I really get a good chance to dig deep and appreciate that. Thank you all for befriending me and loving me. Much love from Japan and miss you dearly.

Adam

ps – the title is a joke. I hate Dave Matthews more than Ohio State fans which is saying a lot since I hate Ohio State fans almost as much as peanut butter.